The Distractions of Pettiness

"I appeal to you, brothers, to watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine that you have been taught: avoid them." Romans 16:17

The church need only be guilty of the sin of division and pettiness to be rendered ineffective. Satan knows this well and has in many ways succeeded in destroying the voracity of the Holy Spirit's power in the church by dividing it. The church family in many ways is a broken family riddled with a history of divorce. Doctrinal differences, cultural shifts, and extra-Scriptural dogma, instead of pushing the Church into a period of growth through prayer and discussion, usually end in a heated parting of ways. It grieves my heart to look into the history of the church and find it so fragmented to be almost unrecognizable. It's even worse to know that I don't need to look further than my own sinful tendencies to understand why the Church is the way it is. I entertain division and petty doctrines constantly. I fail to take the advice of Paul and avoid them. How will the church be God's holy temple if it is a temple divided? How will we be a reflection of God's redemptive glory if we are a fragmented mirror?

Lord Jesus, convict us of our pettiness and return us to a heart and mind united by your Spirit. Lord, let us avoid divisions!

The Necessity of Prayer

"In return for my love they accuse me, but I give myself to prayer." Psalm 109:4

It frightens me sometimes how often my response to difficulty and criticism is self-reliance. When my back is up against a wall, when I feel misunderstood, when the plan falls apart, I frequently look only into my own store room of gifts and talents to see what I can offer to fix the situation. It pains me to admit this because there is nowhere in scripture that reflects that philosophy. God does not help those who help themselves, he helps the helpless. He does not reward the healthy, he heals the sick. He does not elevate the working, he fixes the broken. My deepest desire would be to stop looking to myself to fix things and expect God to honor it. I want to have the same attitude of the Psalmist, to give myself to prayer in all circumstances. Prayer is the only godly response to the helplessness of life. As Charles Spurgeon wrote, "A prayerless soul is a Christless soul." Prayer is not merely an option for Christian living, it is the option for Christian living.

Lord Jesus, take away my selfish self-reliant soul and replace it with a soul who lives and dies by the power of prayer and communion with you!

Reflection From a Soon to be Dad

On July 9th, 2010, I will become a dad.

It would be impossible to fully explain all the different thoughts, the joys and the doubts, the angst and peace, that go along with that truth. But I'm sure those who are dads can relate. It is the most terrifying and joyful thing to be expecting a first child.

About a month ago, Lauren and I went in for our first ultrasound. Up until that point, it wasn't real for either of us. We were so concerned about how to pay for things, whether we were ready, outright denying it, that the full weight of a baby forming in Lauren's womb hadn't hit either of us. And then we saw on the screen a tiny pulsating white spot. Our baby's heart was beating so fast and working so hard. At that moment all of the worries and fears that had risen inside us vanished, and we both fell in love with that tiny heart nestled inside Lauren's caring womb.

A week ago we got to hear the heart again. It's still beating proudly, anxiously waiting to scream it's way into our family. As I wrestle with all that's going on and the prospect of being a dad, something hit me that I don't think ever could've hit me without becoming a father. Jesus was once that little beating heart inside Mary's womb. Now I can't help but wonder how God the Father processed seeing his only Son, whom He had been with for eternity, developing from an embryo into a fetus, into a baby, into a child, and into a man. Did his heart leap the first time he looked into Mary's womb and saw his Son's first heartbeat? Did he take a picture of it and put the sonogram of it on his heavenly fridge for all the saints and angels to look at and cheer? Did he melt as he saw Jesus's hands form, his eyelids develop, his kicking legs grow? Did he jump when Mary jumped as Jesus moved and stretched? Even as an expectant father, I can't imagine the joy God took in watching His Son develop.

But as God peered down to see this baby form, I'm sure His joy was mixed with sorrow. The only reason His Son had to become a man in the first place was because the world sinned. Despite all the delight God might have taken in his Son's birth, the inevitable death and torture awaiting his Son couldn't have been far from his mind. What love and pain the Father must have felt in seeing his Son give up his heavenly body and become a man!

I have been so overwhelmed with delight witnessing our baby grow. But I likewise know that the precious beating heart inside Lauren right now will be born into a world of darkness and sin. I am so happy to be a dad, but I weep that our future child will suffer the world of sin. My only hope is that our child will be saved by the beating heart God was so pleased with 2000 years ago.

In thinking about all this, Christmas has taken on a new depth. It is a celebration. God became a man and was born to be the Lamb of God, the Savior, the Christ, Immanuel! But for me this year, it is a celebration rooted in sorrow because his birth was only necessary because of my wretchedness--his incarnation was due to a world of darkness and his purpose in birth was death.

This Christmas let us rejoice for salvation, but let us mourn it's necessity.

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him." John 3:17